Funny

1.  A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
2.  A will is a dead giveaway.
3.  Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4.  A backward poet writes inverse.
5.  In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
6.  A chicken crossing the road:  poultry in motion.
7.  If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get  repossessed.
8.  With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9.  Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
10.  When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11.  The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12.  A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13.  You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
14.  Local Area Network in Australia:  The LAN down under.
15.  He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
16.  A calendar’s days are numbered.
17.  A lot of money is tainted:  ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.
18.  A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19.  He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20.  A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21.  Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
22.  When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
23.  If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
24.  When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
25.  Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
26.  Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
27.  Acupuncture:  a jab well done.

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