From my Uncle…

OLDER PEOPLE’S SENSE OF HUMOR

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa . “The material  we put
into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here,  years
ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining  Chinese
foo d is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none  of us
realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.  But
there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or
will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most
grief and suffering for years after eating it?” After several seconds of
quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said,
“Wedding Cake.”

An elderly gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the  French
customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in  his
carry-on bag. “You have bee n to France before, monsieur?” the customs
officer asked, sarcastically. The elderly  gentleman admitted he had been
to France previously. “Then you  should know enough to have your passport
ready.” The American said, “The  last time I was here, I didn’t have to
show it.” “Impossible. Americans  always have to show their passports on
arrival in France !”  The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard
look. Then he quietly  explained. “Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach
on D-Day in 1944 to help  liberate this country, I couldn’t find any
Frenchmen to show it to.”

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the  Country
Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year- old  blonde who
knocks everyone’s socks off with her youthful sex appeal and  charm. She
hangs onto Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word. His  buddies
at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner  him and
ask, “Bob, how did you get the trophy girlfriend ?” Bob replies,
“Girlfriend? She’s my wife!” They’re amazed, but continue to ask. “So, how
did you persuade her to marry you?” “I lied about my age”, Bob replies
“What, did you tell her you were only 50?” Bob smiles and says, “No, I told
her I was 90.”

A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus  through Holland . As they
stopped at a cheese farm,  a young guide led them through the process of
cheese making, explaining that  goat’s milk was used. She showed the group
a lively hillside where many  goats were grazing. “These” she explained
“are the older goats put out to  pasture when they no longer produce.” ;
She then asked, “What do you do in  America with your old goats?” A  spry
old gentleman answered, “They send us on bus tours!”

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