I woke up early this morning to see my son off. Off on a new adventure that, as a parent, I don’t think he’s ready for. I imagine all parents think that of their kids when such a thing happens, but you have to trust that they’ll be alright. He had six months of high school remaining but felt an uncontrollable urge to venture off on his journey of life before completing it. I think I now have an idea of what my parents must have gone through when I told them I was moving away, across the country. Am I surprised my son is doing that now? No, but compared to when I did it, I had at least finished high school, been out in the world working for a few years and then had started back doing some post secondary schooling. Thats the main reason why I am concerned. Because of that, things won’t be easy for him and with him being so far away, it almost conpletely removes us from being able to help him at all.
He has left eveything and everyone that he knows to travel out to a distant part of the country that aside from travelling through a few times myself, am totally unfamiliar with. Saskatchewan to me is nothing more than vast amounts of farmland, and is very flat. He’s travelling to a pretty rural area where he is hoping to secure work at an oil refinery. He has some acquaintence’s out there that will provide him with a place to stay. As a parent I can’t help but feel so useless in all of this. You always want so much for your kids. I feel like I have so much to give him but that he won’t ever be around for me to give it to him. I guess the cycle repeats itself.
I have never felt so much regret as when I stood there and watched my fathers life expire before me and wished I had been around him more. I miss him. I didn’t want this for my son, but it seems he has taken on the exact same path. What can I do other than wish him the best and hope that he stays in contact with us.
Christmas and New Years will be very different for us this year.