It seems that we are constantly “fighting” to keep our 17 year son from moving out prematurely and potentially causing him to have an exceedingly tough start to his life. We keep telling him to at least finish high school then he can do whatever the hell he wants, but he is way too impatient. I think part of his problem is that most of his “friends” are all older than he, so he see them out doing all of that “life stuff”. As a parent you keep telling them to slow down, take it easy, there is no rush to get your life started because, as we all now know there is no need to rush, it will all be there when we think we need to have it there. The sick part about even making such an observation is that I remember hearing such similar words from my parents but there was no listening to them. As a teenage boy (especially) there seems to be a rush to get yourself out there and do stuff, get a job, buy a car, get a girlfriend, go on dates, etc. Its just frustrating sometimes to see them doing the same things, making the same mistakes you did when you were their age, but as we all remember not listening to our parents, who just happened to be doing the same things for us, the only difference is that now we’re on the other side of that fence. It makes you sympathize with what your parents went through with you when you see your kids doing the same thing to you.
In a completely opposite twist on this, we got notified that my daughter, who has been moved out for a few years now may be coming home. Not permanently, but in preparation for their wedding. She lives in a very remote location, and hence there are few if any jobs available, let alone ones she can do. She has worked, but there is nothing permanent available, ever. She says she wants to come home for a few months, get a job somewhere local, and work and hopefully save up some money to pay for their wedding. Our first reaction was, sure, no problem, but the more we thought about it, the more we thought she should think more about it. She’s talking about being away from her fiance for over 6 months. It doesn’t seem like a big deal when you consider the money she could be making towards the wedding in that time, but on top of that there is the cost of her going back and forth, the daily phone calls she would be making back home (and the cost of that!) plus, she can’t expect us to absorb the cost of having another mouth to feed plus any residual costs involved in her being there, like driving her to work, etc. We don’t have any problems being there to help get her started and being there for what she and even my son needs in that regard, but it can’t be expected of us to just foot the bill for everything all of the time, its not fair. Geez, how selfish does that sound!?