The dance off

We’ve had a fairly busy weekend this past one, and I’m still trying to catch up, whew! Friday night we went out to the local legion. Apparently every friday they put on a dinner. For $8 you go and pick out a marinated steak, and they will barbeque it for you to your taste, then you get your choice of potatoe and some coleslaw. The steaks we had were friggin huge, more than well worth the $8.

After dinner, or around the time they are ending this dinner, they have an open mike, open musician playing time. Anyone who knows how to play an instrument can come in, setup and play along with everyone else. Its a jam-session! Of course being in the legion it is more likely that you are going to get “older” musicians coming in and playing, which means that the music you hear is either country or older-country. Thats not usually the kind of music I choose to listen to but any live music is somewhat enjoyable for me. I love watching them play. I’d like to believe that I have an appreciation for music even though I can’t play any kind of instrument. Oh I’ve tried. In high school I was in the school orchestra playing the viola and at home for the longest time we had a piano. I couldn’t play anything good on it, never took lessons, but I could have some fun with it. Then a few years ago, a friend from work asked if I wanted to borrow his 5-string electric bass. I had no idea how to play it, but I borrowed it for a couple of months and tried to learn it. I had some fun with it, but I couldn’t get serious with it because I couldn’t tune it, and as such, everything I played I knew probably wasn’t right because I wasn’t confident that the guitar was in tune.

So anyways the jam-session consisted of a bass-player, and a couple of guitar players. One of them had one of those electronic beat boxes, that plays a drum beat to accompany their songs. Apparently this guy used to play in Nashville. I didn’t catch his last name, but his first name was Ralph. He was an older gentleman, likely in his 70’s. but damn could he sing. Then he started yodeling. Now come on, who yodels these days? Maybe that kid on that talent show “America’s Got Talent”, but this guy was good. Not that I’m the best judge of what makes a good yodeler, but everyone really enjoyed this guys yodels. Then the dancing ensued, as well as alot of drinking by alot of people. We were there because it was my Mother-in-law-from-hells’ birthday, but there was also another birthday being celebrated there that night. We were up dancing a few times, not every song by any means. People were coming and dancing with my wife, and that was fine by me, but this one guy kept looking at me like I’d never danced with my wife and would actually ask why I wasn’t up dancing with her at that time. Usually it was because of the beat of the song, or whatever, but it wasn’t like I was purposely NOT dancing with her. As a matter of fact we danced quite alot. That guy we called Mr. Happy Toes. He would dance wildly, and with alot of enthusiasm, but when it came to slower songs, he just couldn’t slow down well enough. Then there was “Slippers”. He was this guy who looked like he just came in from working on the farm. His hair was a mess, he had on shabby dirty looking clothes, a sweatshirt with holes in it, a t-shirt under it, that was untucked and sticking out from under the sweat shirt. His pants were filthy and holey, then with all of this attire, he had on a nice pair of blue mens slippers. Nothing wild and woolly, but those kind of slippers that have a bit of a rubber sole to them and that have no back, slip-ons. Thats what this guy was wearing….out for a night of drinking at the legion…a pair of slippers. When the dancing started he was pretty well drunk, so everyone who danced with him either had to hold him up while dancing, or had to be partially groped by him. He danced with my wife, but not to a slow song. Later in the evening I looked over to where this guy was sitting, and he had fallen asleep in his chair, sitting up. So I pretended to goto the washroom and passed by him. There was a chair behind his, as I walked by I pushed it into his chair pretending there was a need for me to move it, and have accidentally bumped it into his. I wanted to see if it would wake him up. I guess it did, because when I came back from the washroom, he was gone. I figured maybe I not one scared him awake by bumping the chair into his, but when he saw me, maybe he was concerned that I was out to get him or something.

The “Tasmanian Devil” was this guy, who seemed friendly enough, and often stopped by our table to make sure we were all having a good time, but when he got out onto the dance floor, for every beat in the song being played, his feet were moving twice. When any kind of a fast song was being played, his feet were a blur. As the night went on, and the more he drank, the faster his feet went. Then there was the short couple. They were both about 4 1/2 feet tall, if that and the woman’s breasts were almost as big as she was tall. She danced with alot of normal height people and I commented to my wife that she must smell alot of arm pits because thats about where he head was when she danced with guys, at their arm pit. There was this other lady who was fairly tall and big breasted. I don’t know if it was because of her taste in clothes, or her big breasts, but her shirt when she danced would flop up and expose her big belly and because of her big breasts, probably didn’t even notice. Between watching the band that had gathered and watching the people who frequent the legion and their dancing, I was more than content. Oh oh, I almost forgot about “Frankenstien’s Woman”. There was this couple, who I’m told frequent the legion (I think he’s a member). They’re both a little slow in the head I think. She doesn’t speak if at all, but they both like to drink. Throughout the evening they would get up and dance, usually to slow songs, where he could corral her and keep her in check, but the more she drank, the more she wanted to dance and the more he got embarrassed of her. When she did dance, she had absolutely no coordination at all, and literally stomped around the dance floor, and if you got in her way, you got knocked over. It was funny.

We ended up staying until about 11:30. The band had been playing since around 7:00 that evening. It was a fun time, I think we may do it again this coming friday (my wifes birthday!).


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