You’ve got to be kidding

Doooh’s Picture Of The Day

JOKE OF THE DAY

Words of Wisdon (sent by a coworker)
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me thehell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan beltand leaky tire.
3. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal yourneighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
4. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t bepromoted.
5. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple ofcar payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should first walk a mile intheir shoes.That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mileaway and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.Teach a man how to fish, and he will sit in aboat and drink beer all the live long day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it wasprobably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
13. Some days you’re the bug; …… some days you’re the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and putit back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like ‘The Force’. It has a light side and a dark side,and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, when your lips are moving you aren’t learningmuch.
20. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.and finally……..
22. Never, under any circumstances, take asleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

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