Being in the court-house blues

Doooh’ Picture of the day
I was reading a friends blog today and they were talking about a recent incident where they had to attend court. It reminded me of when I got to attend court

Of course this takes place in and around the Greater Toronto Area. I was 17 at the time. I had just gotten my drivers license. A friend came and picked me up in his car and we took off for the evening. We met up with some girls that he knew and we took them to see the “devil worshippers”. In the east end of Toronto, which at that time was in a huge growth spurt, just north of the city, there was a major hill that had been created out of garbage. Before that hill can be used for anything, they have to extract and burn off all of the gathered methane that collects underground. To do this that had burried these huge pipes into the ground at the top of the hill which gave the methane a route to escape then they had lit it. So from the bottom of the hill, at night, all you could see were the flames. It looked like there was someone up there with with a camp fire going. So we took these two girls out there and told them that it was devil worshippers who were up there. Of course this all was a ruse to ellicit a bit of nervousness from them about it all and to hopefully get a bit of hugs happening, etc. My friend and I had just been away camping the weekend before so his trunk was still full from the remains of all of the beer and liquor that we had taken with us, so while we were sitting around pondering the whole devil worshipper thing, the three of them decided to have something to drink. It was then decided that I would be the designated driver so of course I didn’t drink anything.

The girl I was with I guess wasn’t too interested in me so she started getting a little anxious being around these devil worshippers so she tried to convince my friend who had taken off and was making out with the other girl somewhere, to leave. Eventually we all piled into the car with me at the wheel, and the three of them drinking. The girl that was beside me in the front seat had been drinking a bottle of whiskey, while the other two in the back seat had been drinking beer. Now, remember, this was the first time being behind the wheel after getting my license, so my experience wasn’t too great. So I’m driving along a failry big street, two lanes on each side and I was approaching a very large intersection. Just as I got near it, the lights changed from green to yellow. I remember my friend in the backseat saying “Gun-it, go through the light”, so I did. Unfortunately for us it turned red about half way through AND there just happend to be a cop waiting at the lights. Well, he put on his lights and chased us down. The stuipid fuck (the cop) tried to pass me on the right, in a bus lane just as I was pulling over to stop. The net effect of that was that I completely cut him off and likely pissed him off too. So I continued on to the next bus lane and pulled over. The first time I was ever pulled over for a traffic violation and here the cops had their guns drawn and were ordering us out of the vehicle. I guess once they realized how young I was they relaxed a bit and put their guns away, but still holy CRAP!

During the chase, my friend and the girl he was with decided to attempt to hide the huge quart-size beer bottles they had been sucking on by pushing them up under the front seats. The girl beside me stuffed the bottle of whiskey into the glove-box. So, I get out of the car, as well my friend gets out of the car. I show him my license and my friend shows him his. While we are talking to one cop and he was explaining how I was going to get a ticket for going through a red light, the other cop went to talk to the two girls who were still in the car. I guess he stuck his head into the car and was talking to them. A few minutes later he goes back to the cop car and calls the cop that was talking to us, over. As we’re standing there talking about what was going to happen, we heard “It smells like a fuckin’ brewery in there!”.

This was a time before breathalizers but it was pretty obvious that I hadn’t been drinking. They got the car keys from my friend and opened up the trunk after searching the car and finding the two open bottles of beer and the open bottle of whiskey. Their eyes just about popped out of their heads when they saw how much beer was in the trunk. Back then the cars had HUGE trunks. Some of the cases of beer were just full of empties, but there was still many unopened 24’s of beer in there. The cops said that they would have to confiscate everything, and within five minutes there were cops there from every district. A Metro cop pulled us over, then a Peel regional cop showed up, then an OPP. My friend and I thought we were going to have our asses hauled off to jail but after quite a long discussion between all of the cops, they came back to us and said that I was going to get a ticket for going through a red light and they had decided to reduce what they could have charged my friend with to just supplying minors with alcohol. They had completely emptied the trunk of its contents and of course I had to drive, as my friend was still under the influence. We took the girls home and never saw them again.

Months later I went to traffic court just to see what it was like. I could have just paid the ticket, but I wanted to see what court was like. I showed up at the court house, showed them my ticket. The guy looked at it and said that it was wrong. He said the cop put down the wrong offense number for what I was given the ticket for. He said that I would get off and not have to pay any fine. I was more than pleased to hear that, so I went into court, they eventually called my name. They spoke so quickly I barely had time to even say my name. The cops didn’t show up for court and so when the judge noticed that the ticket was wrong he said so and then said case dismissed. In less than five minutes I was in and out and I barely had to say or do anything.

I found out months later from my friend, that when he went to court, which wasn’t traffic court like me, they had also made a mistake on his ticket and his charge. So when he was standing in front of the judge, there was evidence that had to be presented. The cops were there for that case. He was expecting 12 cases of beer and a bottle of whiskey, but all that was ever mentioned was the bottle of whiskey. He was getting off of his offense so of course he didn’t mention or even ask about all that beer that was also confiscated. He just chaulked it all up to lesson learned and it was then that he finally put all of the peices together. At the time we wondered why all of a sudden there were so many cop cars there that night. It wasn’t like we were huge criminals or something. It was just to share in the beer that had been “confiscated”. We figured they must have had a helluva party with all of that beer…we did the weekend before! Now there’s another story for ya…maybe for another time.


An office manager had money problems & had to fire an employee, either Jack or Jill.

He thought he’d fire the employee who came late to work the next morning. Well, both employees came to work very early.

Then the manager thought he would catch the first one who took a coffee break. Unfortunately, neither employee took a coffee break.

Then the manager decided to see who took the longest lunch break – strangely, neither Jack nor Jill took a lunch break that day, they both ate at their desk.

Then the manager thought he’d wait & see who would leave work the earliest, and both employees stayed until after closing. Jill finally went to the coat rack so the manager thought he would simply be honest and ask her advice.

He went up to her and said, “Jill, I have a terrible problem. I don’t know whether to lay you or Jack off.” Jill said, “Well, you’d better jack off – I’m late for my bus.”


2 Responses to “Being in the court-house blues”

  1. Phil McCracken Says:

    You did get off pretty easy I must admit.

    Being the son of the only minority cop in our city, I grew up in both the police station and the local courthouse. When I went in for jury duty, the judge knew me by name and took a moment to inquire about how my dad was doing.

    Seriously your story makes me want to blog about the time I got arrested by my girlfriend’s father…not one of my finer moments.

  2. HG Says:

    You were sooooooooooooooooo lucky!!! I loved this story of yours…it’s so fun to see the different things we all did when we were uh…kids!

    I answered on my blog ’bout why I was in court.

    I’m not liking it much…*L* and I’m hoping I don’t have to go back again for a very long time!!!

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