Making an offerring

Doooh’s Picture of the Day
I was yakking at one of my coworkers awhile ago. He just recently moved from the city out to the country. As others have done so in this blog community, he was in some awe over the wonders of doing so, like seeing wild animals in your yard, etc. Being one who has lived in such an environment for quite a number of years myself I have begun to experience and see the somewhat seedy side of that wondrous experience of being in nature. And that is, the encroachment of nature into what we consider our domiciles, even though rightly so we have encroached on their environment. What I am speaking of are the almost daily visits of rodents into the unseen areas of your house, or the visits of ants, or one of my favorites the ol’ racoons in the your garbage.

Where I live, I have gone through all as well as the voracious insect infestations of your “nature”. I have almost gotten used to NOT going outside to do anything because of all of the black flies and mosquitos. Sometimes you just have to say the hell with them and just go and do whatever it is you need to do but you suffer the next day and for weeks after with all of the bites that you did have to endure.

Some sort of rodent has taken refuge under a concrete pad out our back door. I see the tunnels and I try flooding them with water whenever I can but they reproduce faster than I think of trying to drown them. Our two cats go outside, I think just to chase them down and I think thats great, but I don’t think they’re doing so good of a job just yet. I discovered one day that the cat had crawled up under the cover that I have for my lawn tractor. I wondered why the heck she was going up under there. Then I pulled my tractor out the other day and noticed some holes dug under the piece of wood that I park my tractor on. More damn rodents.

Every once in a while we have to make a sugar sacrifice to the ant gods. The ants somehow get into our dining room and eventually make attempts to find any scraps of food that may be around in our kitchen. So far this year when ever we see any ants in the dining room, we take a cup of sugar outside and dump it fairly close by. It keeps them busy for awhile and they ignore attempting to come in the house. The coworker I was talking to also experiences this. I suggested the sugar thing to him. It costs a little less than a whole bunch of pesticides and if you have any kind of animals that you like in the house (cats, dogs, etc) then avoiding the pesticides is mandatory.

And finally, the most recent animal violations are the racoons. I noticed one evening awhile ago that our green bin was knocked over when I went to leave for work that day. We had some troubles with our son the previous night and I thought he had gotten mad at us and kick it over. I realize now that it was racoons. Just last week I went to leave for work and there was garbage everywhere. It was the racoons. Between them and the rodents, our garbage has no chance. The rodents have chewed holes into the bottom of the plastic garbage cans so whenever something goes into them, its immediately chewed open by something. I am contemplating building a wooden box into which I would put the garbage cans. I’d have to make it as critter-proof as possible. Whenever this damn rain lets up, maybe I can do that.


A woman pregnant with triplets is walking down the street when a masked robber runs out the bank and shoots her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies are okay. The surgeon decides to leave the bullets in because it’s too risky to operate.

All is fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walks into the room in tears. “What’s wrong?” asks the mother. “I was having a wee and this bullet came out.” replies the daughter. The mother tells her it’s okay and explains what happened 16 years ago.

About a week later the second daughter walks in to the room in tears. “Mom, I was having a wee and this bullet came out.” Again the mother tells her not to worry and explains what happened 16 years ago.

A week later the boy walks into the room in tears. “It’s okay,” says the mom, “I know what happened, you were having a wee and a bullet came out.” And the boy says, “No, I was jerking off and I shot the dog!”


2 Responses to “Making an offerring”

  1. Phil McCracken Says:

    It’s a case of “the grass is always greener”. My entire life I’ve lived in the country. I have never lived in a town of more than 7,000 people, never lived in a house with less than 2 acres of land and never had to endure city blocks, traffic reports or double decker bridges near my home.

    But I am sick of skunks, raccoons, mice and ants (ants drive me nuts) getting into everything, chewing and breeding and shitting everywhere.

    Sometimes I say “Give me the city!!!” Then I go there and say “ACK!! Get me home!!!”

  2. HG Says:

    I am so dayum glad I made the transition from city to country. So far… no rodent problems. We had the one mouse, but the cat seems to have made short work of it. Even the bear has been absent for the past week or so… *knocks on wood*

    I truly love it out here!!! : )

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: