Almost didn’t make it

I almost didn’t make it into work this morning.  It had snowed overnight, probabley 5 to 10 cm’s.  I beleive thats about 4-5 inches.  I cleared the snow off the truck and saw that the snow was fairly deep.  My truck is usually ok in the snow because I put 3 one hundred pound steel bars in the back to give some traction to my rear wheels, but the only problem is that the truck sits very low to the ground, like a car.  If there’s any kind of accumulation, there is a chance I will get stuck.  I got stuck this morning.  I pulled out of my parking area, the truck tires spinning, but I was moving along fairly well.  I came to an area where it is fairly open and the wind gusts through and as usual the snow had drifted even higher in that spot.  Thats as far as I made it.  I got out and had to walk back to the house to get a shovel.  I went in and got my hat and my son just happened to peek around the corner to find out why I had come back.  I said to him that I needed his help in digging me out, as I was stuck.  I didn’t expect him to come out as he was getting ready for school.
He surprised me and showed up with shovel in hand to help dig me out.  We cleared a bit in front of the truck, and bit behind it.  I was able to back up a bit so that we could clear the snow that was under the truck at that point.  I tried to go forward but got stuck again.  I gave up.  I started to back up, as that was the only direction I could move.  I was planning on backing right back up to my parking spot and calling it a day, at least until the farmer came by to plow the road.  Well didn’t I get stuck again.  I jammed it into first and gunned it.  During this time my son had continued to clear the snow from in front of the truck.  It was just enough.  I plowed through the snow and saw the end of the private lane ahead of me, but of course the plows had been by and there was a bit of a buildup of snow in front of me.  I figured I could just plow through that, but I also had to worry about vehicle traffic.  As I approached, there just happened to be a car coming.  I had to stop.  I didn’t think I would get any further, but was happy when I finally fish-tailed out onto the highway and was on my way.  Usually once I get out onto the highway I am good to go.  It was snow covered and very slippery, but like I said, the truck is ok as long as the snow isn’t deep.
When I finally made it to the “main” highway it wasn’t all that good either, but there was a fairly clear tire-track path so I was going slower than usual, but still faster than most apparently.  As I’m pulling into the parking garage I hear them reporting on the radio about how bad the roads were and they specifically mention the road I just came in on.  They said how there was all this black ice out there and they say how people don’t seem to realise this as they are going (obviously) faster than the ones giving this report.  I say the people giving the radio station this report were full of shit and that maybe if there were that scared, then they should have just pulled over and cried.  It wasn’t that bad.  Whinney babies.  If you’re scared to be out on the roads in these kinds of conditions then THEY are the hazzard out there because they are or will be going too slow.  If there are traffic problems it will be because of someone getting stuck behind one of these “slow-movers” and trying to get around them.


It’s a couples Anniversary and the woman decides to do something nice for her husband so she goes to a tattoo parlour and says “can I have the initials of my husband tattooed onto my ass please? I would like ‘b’ on one cheek and ‘b’ on another cheek.”

After the tattoo is finished she goes home pulls her trousers down and bends over infront of her husband and her husband says “Who’s Bob?!.”


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