Auction, the fog, and books

Towards the fundraising that we have been doing lately for my sons school trip to Europe, we had an auction at a local pub.· To say it was a success would be under-stating the whole event.· Every parent of every child going on the trip was expected to get from any business, 5 (minimum) donations of something.· It could be a coupon for a free movie rental, or it could be a free dinner for two.· In any case, us parents mustered up over 130 items that were then auctioned off. There was everything from, like I suggested, free movie rentals, a circular saw, several Golfing tee times at various places, free dinners, lots of t-shirts and caps and stuff like that.· The auction itself was quite fun.· I’ve never really been to one and actually participated.· I bought a tool kit of various drill bits for $27, plus I got a pair of hockey tickets for $25.· I may have over paid for the drill bits but they will be of some use to me so that combined with the whole “its for a good cause” thing made me feel good about it.· All in all I think they doubled, in one fundraising event, the amount of money they had raised, all together.· It was a fun evening and raised alot of money, for a good cause, our children.

On the way home from the auction, it was very foggy out.· I didn’t feel it was a big deal as I could clearly see the yellow centre line, but my wife being the worry-wart that she is thought I was going too fast and suggested that an animal could pop out of nowhere and hit us, or rather we could hit it.· I have never had such occurrances so I wasn’t really concerened about it.· My wife on the other hand has had several instances of hitting birds and had deer jump out from the side of the road at her, etc.· Eventually I slowed down and no sooner than I had, a huge mother-fuckin-buck-of-a-deer decided to cross the road right in front of us!· Luckily he was on the other side of the road, but he was fricken HUGE!· I thought my wife was going to have a heart-attack.· Now what are the chances??!!· In all the years that I have lived out here in the boonies I have never seen any deer the size of that one.· My god it was huge!· Hunting season started out here recently…someone would have been happy to see him!

Yesterday my wife and I decided to go see the Movie Zorro.· My son didn’t want to see it, so we left him at home.· We enjoyed the movie, there was alot of action, and it was very fast paced.· About the only thing I didn’t like about it was that scene you see in the trailers for it, when the horse is on the train, rearing up.· It was too phoney for me.· After the movie we went out for dinner to the local Chinese food restaurant.· It was the typical buffet type food.· After that we hit Chapters.· My son put in his order for a new series of books that he was interested in.· My wife was looking for some new books as well.· I was only interested in getting one book.· The DaVinci Code.· I have read all of Dan Brown’s other books and I was trying to hold out to get it in paperback, but here in North America (apparently) they haven’t and likely won’t release it in that form until after the movie is out.· I’ll start that sometime this week.· I am at the end of Angels & Demons, but it is taking me longer to read for some reason.· I went to bed early last night just to finish reading it, but fell asleep before I could.


Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over
and confided to the bartender, “I’m so pissed off !”

“Oh yeah? What happened?” asked the bartender politely.

“See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her
home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we
were just about to make love when her god damned husband came in
the front door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and
hang from the ledge by my fingernails!”

“Gee, that’s tough!” commiserated the bartender.

“Right, but that’s not what really got me aggravated,” the
customer went on.

“When her husband came into the room he said ‘Hey great! You’re
naked already! Let me just take a leak.’ And damned if the lazy
son of a bitch didn’t piss out the window right onto my head?”

“Yeech!” the bartender shook his head. “No wonder you’re in a
lousy mood.”

“Yeah, but I haven’t told you what really, really got to me.
Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when
they finished, the husband tossed his condom out of the window.
And where does it land? My damned forehead!”

“Damn, that really is a drag!” says the bartender.

“Oh, I’m not finished. See what really pissed me off was when
the husband had to take a dump. It turns out that their toilet
is broken, so he stuck his ass out of the window and let loose
right on my head !”

The bartender paled. “That would sure mess up my day.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” the fellow rattled on, “but do you know what
REALLY, REALLY, REALLY pissed me off? When I looked down and saw
that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground!!”

3 Responses to “Auction, the fog, and books”

  1. originalism Says:

    Lookin’ good, dude; whereabouts is your lad visiting? Will he be calling in at dear old blighty?

  2. dooohhead Says:

    Jer, Ya I think he ll be in London, then to Paris, then Venice, then somewhere in the Alps. Im not sure what order they are visiting each place in though. Its going to be a whirl-wind trip as I think hes only gone for a week and a half. Theres a company here in Canada that does these kinds of school, students based trips. I hope everything in Paris gets cleared up soon!

  3. pizzofmine Says:

    lol, the jokes is awesome.

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